The shows have now started. This new experience is so different to just rehearsing in Eastleigh. Everything is set. I am getting on the train each week with a sense of purpose. I am now so much clearer, I know the meaning of everything I am doing. It all seams very real now.
Before the first show in Newbury I felt very prepared. I had so much adrenaline. I went on stage feeling nervous yet excited. I felt really in it, on the ball and enjoying it. My family were in the audience, after the show my Sister and Brother (who, unlike my Mum and Dad, had never seen a run) told me how moved they were. For some reason I didn’t expect them to feel moved, or that they could relate. We had been working in our own bubble for a lot of time, and sometimes it was very hard to think about the reaction. Whilst creating the material it felt hard to even imagine that other people would understand and even relate to what we had been working on in our own little world.
The next show was a very different experience for me. It was very weird. It was like I was on autopilot. Before the show I was quite stressed and kept saying to everyone ‘I think I’ve forgot some of my props, I’m sure I had more. Where are they?’ of course, I had everything I needed. During the show, it was like I forgot everything I was meant to be doing, but was so familiar with it; I just did it sort of unconsciously. Because of this, after the show I felt like, 'Whoa, have I just done that, have I really just done a 2 hour show, did I really just run on a circle of boxes? Did I really sing with everyone and play harmonica? Did I really just do a duet with Rob? Play violin with PK? Stand in front of an audience and show what we have been doing for the past 10 weeks?'
Even though we have only done a few shows, I feel like I’ve already had experiences, very few 12 year olds would have. And although it can be tiring and I have sometimes felt like it is all too much, I am now fully realising that doing this is so amazing for me, and I am learning so much from it.