Thursday 9 - Tough day

Brain meltdown around 3pm today - overload of images and thoughts and multiple people and two young people to look after within the mix and teaching class that was half workshop for kids and half yoga stretching and half a massage session and half arsed in many ways and I realise that's too many halves -and as always  there are  so many possibilities in the space and yet so few somehow - and always this contradiction of when to bite and commit to distilling and following and crafting and when to just let it go as it's going nowhere and this often felt contradiction of letting things happen and giving space to things occurring brushing against the push me pull you of the act of directing- of knowing when something's got legs and something really hasn't yet wanting to give everyone and everything a chance to breathe and always interfering  and poking the material about and stretching the contradictions within it and multiple layers in different parts of your brain stored and ready for use when the time comes and sometimes it doesn't come until two or three years after the event and these brilliant people who come here and eat and drink and smoke and laugh together for the purpose of making something happen and making something that may or may not change the way we see the world. (Charlotte)