Theme of "Hope" proves to be a hard one to tackle.
I find myself not exercising IT/her/him -or whatever Hope is - too much, not abusing it, as I connect Hope with unpleasant or extreme and desperate situations.
Like I wanna save it for the rainy days.
I try not to "call it in vain".
I'm OK. I cope. I'm luckier than many people are. I'm grateful and not THAT greedy so I think I might live Hope for those who need it more than I do.
In case the source of Hope dries out...
Never ending battle with finding the right balance of personal investment into the work.
The need of it, to make work authentic. As oppose to being phony, secretive, ingenue , absent, flippant, hiding behind 'quoting' 'archetypes', 'cliches' , 'acting', sitting on the fence.
Ongoing fight with habits, familiar looks, gags, images, solutions.
I still find the starkness of the white floor and backdrop intriguing . So clean and devilishly inviting to make all sort of mess (visual, emotional, musical etc).
And so inviting to live it as it is, pure, silent, non aggressive, without big bloody revolutions and noise and drama. Without big confrontations or confessions.
Gently does it.